Moose and Squirrel Blog

Saturday, February 18, 2006

B - you know who you are - are you reading this?

You have an adorable secret admirer.

Friday, February 17, 2006

To the guy eating Starbust on the first floor of the library

Dude, you sound like a cow chomping its cud. There are eight of us down here. We are all looking at you thinking, "Why can't that man close his mouth when he chews?" You've been here since 9:30. Shouldn't your bag of Starbust have run out? Studying for the bar sure is hard--but do you have to let off your stress so, ehm, orally?

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Slate has a set of "non-mushy" Valentine's poems today. It's a good selection, especially Casabianca by Elizabeth Bishop. There are a few really old ones, which is obnoxious. I don't like to read old things. First, they're hard. Second, literature, like science and fashion, has improved over time. We've made a lot of discoveries in the past few hundred years, like how poems can stand up on their own without rhymes stapling up their right-hand side. Anyway, my favorite non-mushy poems:
The problem with most of the love poems I can think of is how narcissistic they are. They barely say anything about the person inciting all the alleged love. I don't believe the writer really loved the person, because they just compliment their eyes and then go back to talking about themselves. By the way, why do eyes get all the attention? They're almost exactly the same on everyone. Poets should talk about noses; noses are funky. Anyway, about the narcissism. Is that an inherent feature of poetry-- it's all about voice, so the speaker overpowers the subject?

An apparent exception: She Walks in Beauty, Like the Night, by Byron.
But think about it. He's obviously projecting all his own issues on this woman, because no adult is actually that "innocent." Or else it's about a kid and he's a pedophile. See? We know so much more about the writer than the beloved.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

I just peered out from my NYTimes/Gawker cloud for long enough to realize the case they're talking about is the same one I observed a class talking about last year when I was checking out NYU. It's about interpreting the phrase "prior to December 31." Last year I thought the "discussion" was interesting! I don't know why; maybe I was lying to myself to feel smart. Maybe because I was too fresh from college poetry classes and believed eventually the professor would reveal that "prior to December 31" was a metaphor for love. It was probably because I'd waited tables every other day that week. Anyway, right now I have all the reasons in the world to pay attention-- theoretical background, grade incentives, you're not IM'ing me :( -- and I am blogging. The fact is that everything sucks if you do it every day.

So I'm glad I decided to be a lawyer instead of a sex columnist.

Friday, February 03, 2006

The other day our beautiful con law professor gave a motivational speech encouraging us to "play the law school game" in class and protesting that he is not an unpleasant person. I wasn't there because I find the class unpleasant, but my friends-- or might they prefer, colleagues-- were really excited about it.

First, the word on the street now is that our professor is nice. Because he said he was, and aggressively cold-calling and rejoining sassily and calling people by last names is just an act. But it's an act that makes a lot of us uncomfortable. I know you people all really suck at judging character, so let me put this in clear and logical terms, like the law or Truth:
making people feel bad = mean

I've heard that cold-calling and over-aggression prepares us for the real world. That's a good point-- in a few years most of us are going to be in front of a Napoleonic judge arguing about abstract principles that we learned the existence of the night before. Especially if OCI gets us jobs as TV actors.

Fighting for people is worthwhile and motivating. I did it throughout college, and thought on my feet and my face might've gotten red too. But fighting doesn't come naturally to me about, for example, the commerce clause. I just don't possess that level of testosterone. It would be sexist of me to fault some of my friends-- I mean, colleagues-- for getting excited so easily... so I'd better just move on to my next point now.

Doesn't it kind of suck that the "real world" is unnatural, adversarial, and impersonal? Wouldn't it be cool if law professors took advantage of their positions to stop perpetuating all the bullshit that makes life sadder than it needs to be?

--Have to stop now because admin is over. I write blog posts during it because I'm not afraid of the prof--

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

first post of the month again

Katha Pollitt (hardcore feminist) and William Saletan (pussy) are having a Slate dialogue this week on abortion politics. I've worshipped Pollitt and detested Saletan forever so this is exciting. It's the abortion-argument version of a pillow fight between Summer Roberts and Rory Gilmore.

Thursday, January 26, 2006

Third post of the month: world's greatest blond joke

... here. Just read it before you flame me, mmm-kay?

Second post of the month: BOFH guessing game

This eloquent post, by an irate BOFH from NYU School of Law's generally helpful IT department, raises a number of questions:

  1. Which "yale undergrad, harvard law and PhD" professor can't figure out Start -> All Programs -> Windows Update? (Hint: there are only two members of the fulltime faculty with that cred.)
  2. Which (all?) professors get free, in-home tech support? (When I was in the "IT Industry" this was reserved for people with budget power.)
  3. Does someone in IT really have a "bourgeois educational pedigree?" Why isn't he going to law school--the logical thing to do with a "bourgeois educational pedigree?"
Answer in the comments section.

And carry on "speedy pete 312!" The students are with you! Fight the power!!!

Link of the month: grammar advice

Wog. Spastic. Queer. Nigger. Dwarf. Cripple. Fatty. Gimp. Paki. Mick. Mong. Poof. Coon. Gyppo. You can’t really use these words any more and yet, strangely, it is perfectly acceptable for those in the travel and hotel industries to pepper their conversation with the word “beverage”.